


Substitution

by TaraHarkon



Series: Barold in Wonderland [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Barry in Wonderland, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, I did a hit on the denim boy, M/M, Voidfish Amnesia, Wonderland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 03:23:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13966308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraHarkon/pseuds/TaraHarkon
Summary: Barry Bluejeans looked down at the advertisement that had arrived with his name on it. "We have what you're looking for in Wonderland." It seemed like a longshot, but every other option he had was a longshot.----In which Barry goes to Wonderland and finds a pair of twin Elves and thinks maybe this is where he belongs.





	Substitution

_Barry leaned in close, watching as Lup examined what ingredients they had in the galley kitchen on the Starblaster. She was humming to herself in that way she did when she was thinking, the song one Barry didn’t know. He only ever heard it from the twins when they were in the kitchen. Lup unceremoniously dropped a bag of flour on the counter and laughed when it puff, coating the surrounding area in white power._

_“Okay, so the biggest problem we’re gonna have baking on this plane is the lack of eggs.” She paused dramatically. “But, I’ve got that sitch handled. We’re gonna make a little substitution.”_

_Barry tilted his head to the side, leaning on his hand._

_“You can do that?”_

_“Of course you can, Bear.”_

* * *

Barry Bluejeans walked alone through the Felicity Wildes with a piece of paper crumpled in his fist. It was an advertisement for a place called Wonderland, a place that claimed to have exactly what he was looking for. He wasn’t sure how they knew what he was looking for when he didn’t, but the coin in his pocket had been insistent. Something about a high concentration of necromantic and emotional energy and that place inside him that felt like a piece of his heart was missing? He stopped just before the black and white spiral road that stretched out before him and looked up at one of the billboards that lined it. He couldn’t quite make it out. It was fuzzy, almost fogged. The one thing he was certain of was that the picture was of an Elf. He walked up to the round building at the center of the clearing. Above the empty expanse of a door, it simply read “Barry J Bluejeans.” For a moment, he closed his eyes. Barry wasn’t the kind of man to pray, but he was the kind of man to stop and fervently hope that he wasn’t making a terrible decision. He stepped into that darkness, trying to ignore the visceral terror that shot through him.

And then? And then there were lights, music, sound, laughter. It was almost too much and it was just...just right. Two Elves stood on the stage in front of him, posing dramatically. The sight of it drew a smile to his lips and one of the two Elves stopped, looking at him oddly.

“It looks like our newest guest is excited to be here, Lydia.”

“Doesn’t he _just_ , Edward? It’s always nice to have a happy customer.”

Lydia had disappeared from the stage and reappeared beside Barry, only to be followed a moment later by Edward.

“Sister, dear, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

He reached out and brushed his fingers lightly across Barry’s cheek, startling the man. Lydia’s smile was a slow smile, a predator’s smile.

“I do indeed. It looks, my dearest brother, as though _this time_ our advertisements brought what you’ve been wanting instead of the other way around.”

* * *

Time passed and Barry fell into the routine of Wonderland. There were so many guests coming through and Edward was constantly encouraging him to explore his interest in necromancy. More importantly, Barry felt like he was home. Mostly. Every so often, he would wake up from nightmares he couldn’t remember, and it felt... off. But Edward would be there and soon enough, Barry Bluejeans forgot he’d ever been searching for something.

One morning, as Barry read through a tome Edward, had gotten for him somewhere and drank his coffee, the twins had appeared looking particularly excited. Edward had strutted over to Barry, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“Morning, Bear-Bear. Lydia and I have been thinking. And I’ve got a question for you.”

Lydia leaned on her brother, smiling brightly.

“We both do, really.”

“How would you like to help us today?”

Barry was surprised, to say the least. Sure, his spellwork was pretty solid. But they were liches, and they had that...that bell thing. They could do things he couldn’t even imagine. What could they possibly need his help with?

“I guess so if you think I can help.”

Barry smiled as Edward ran his fingers through his hair.

“How are you at chess, Bear-Bear?”

* * *

Barry sat down opposite their guest and smiled, trying to channel some aspect of this place. Her name was Lucretia. That was all that Edward had told him before giving him a kiss and wishing him luck. And she was staring at him like he was a monster, like he had done something horribly wrong.

“Barry?”

And apparently she knew his name. That was unexpected. Instead of acknowledging it, he gestured at the board.

“You get the first move, Lucretia.”

She flinched at her name and Barry began to wonder why. But he didn't have the time to waste on that. Edward was counting on him to win this game and he wanted so badly to make Edward happy. He watched her opening play and grinned slowly. Oh yes, this would be fun.

Barry felt an invisible hand stroke his cheek as he set his queen into place to complete the plan he’d be carefully constructing since the second move. He leaned into that touch, knowing he’d done well.

“Check and mate.”

Lucretia stared down at the board with growing horror. Her breathing was picking up as Barry stood and moved away from the board. He could hear Lydia’s laughter ringing somewhere in the rafters of the room. Barry turned back at the last moment with a smile on his face.

“Better luck next time, Lucretia.”

Then he walked back out into the space around the game rooms. This was where he lived, where he spent his days. Edward appeared immediately, wrapping his arms around Barry’s neck.

“You did amazing, Pooh Bear.”

Barry smiled, his hands naturally falling into place on Edward’s hips. He leaned in for a quick kiss and Edward ruffled his already messy hair.

“It was actually pretty fun. Is that uh... is that what you do all day?”

For a long moment, Edward just smiled at Barry. Then he rested one hand on Barry’s chest and angled his head dramatically in the light.

“Do you want to see, handsome?”

* * *

 

Barry hated Wonderland and he loved Wonderland. He knew the secret now, the darkness that lurked behind the tender eyes of the lich Edward. Barry watched people die. Sure, some got out, but most didn’t. The feeling of death suffused the entire place, growing stronger every day. But Barry continued to orbit around Edward, but drawn in and repulsed. Somedays, Edward was everything. He was gentle and sweet, he talked Barry through the nightmares where he remembered nothing but darkness and static. But there were also the days when he pushed Barry away, when he taunted and derided.

Edward shoved Barry away from him, disdain on his face.

“Honestly, why do you care so much about them? They’re bringing this onto themselves. And they’re not as important as we are. Can’t you just remember that? You’re one of us, Barry. I want you to stay, but if you’re going to be like this...”

Barry scrambled, trying to find a way to placate Edward. He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to be alone and lost again.

“I won’t. I won’t... I won’t forget, I promise. Edward, I’m sorry.”

Edward waited a moment, hands on his hips. Then he smiled and held his arms out.

“Good, because you belong with me, Barry. You belong right here.”

Barry moved into Edward’s arms and relaxed. He could find a way to deal with this. It was worth it. He was sure it was worth it.

* * *

There were three new contestants in Wonderland who had drawn the attention of Edward and Lydia in a more personal way than usual. It seemed these three were after the bell. Things had seemed alright, like they were following the usual pattern of Wonderland. At the same time, Barry was watching them. Taako... Magnus... Merle... They seemed familiar somehow. At the same time, he could see the annoyance on Edward’s face as the trio made it further and further through. Then came Round Three. That was when everything changed. The Elf with the umbrella had suddenly pointed it at the wall, though Barry thought it looked more like the umbrella had moved of its own accord, and created a door. Barry had pulled his wand out, going to intercept them before Lydia and Edward had to.

“Go ahead and destroy them, Cuddle Bear,” Edward’s voice singsonged out of the darkness. “I want to watch you rip them to pieces.”

Barry grinned, his knees braced as the ground began to rise up. The other three were startled, of course. But he knew Lydia and Edward. He knew they’d want to turn this into a show. He could hear the mannequins cheering and leveled his wand at Taako.

“You should’ve just stayed in the game.”

He took a shot at Taako and the elf rolled out of the way, firing off his own return spell. The firebolt hit Barry squarely in the chest and he fell backward, arms pinwheeling as he tried to keep his balance. He was dead before he hit the ground. That was when the red-robed specter of a lich rose from his crumpled form and hovered in the air for a moment. The memories surged back and he nearly screamed. He would have, but he didn’t have time as the Umbra Staff still held in Taako’s hand inverted and he was sucked into it. Taako had grinned at Lydia and Edward, showing his teeth.

“Liches get stitches.”

Barry fell into a dark place, his mind still spinning as he tried to reconcile the last ten years with these new memories. Lucretia. He’d _seen_ Lucretia. Fuck, he’d _hurt her_. And Taako, and Magnus, and Merle, and...and... And a hand rested on his shoulder.

“Bear, what the hell happened to you?”

He looked up. There she was. The person he’d really been searching for, the piece of his heart that had been missing: Lup.

 

* * *

_Barry leaned in close, watching as Lup examined what ingredients they had in the galley kitchen on the Starblaster. She was humming to herself in that way she did when she was thinking, the song one Barry didn’t know. He only ever heard it from the twins when they were in the kitchen. Lup unceremoniously dropped a bag of flour on the counter and laughed when it puff, coating the surrounding area_ in _white power._

_“Okay, so the biggest problem we’re gonna have baking on this plane is the lack of eggs.” She paused dramatically. “But, I’ve got that sitch handled. We’re gonna make a little substitution.”_

_Barry tilted his head to the side, leaning on his hand._

_“You can do that?”_

_“Of course you can, Bear.” Lup had reached for a jar on the counter then. “But it doesn’t come out exactly the same. The texture might be different, or maybe the flavor. It’s close enough though, most of the time at least. And sometimes it isn’t. It depends on what you substitute.”_


End file.
